The age old question…what comes first?
Your Happiness OR The Happiness of Your Marriage?
I’ve said it before, “The success of your relationships is directly related to your own personal success.”
However, if you are counting on your marriage (or your spouse) to bring your endless joy - you may be barking up the wrong tree.
You’re marriage IS NOT supposed to MAKE you happy. Neither is your spouse.
It’s just a piece of paper that says you are legally attached to someone who drives you nuts at every possible opportunity.
A person that is going to take the wind out of your sails sometimes and other times will push every single button you have until you either explode or crawl under a rock.
It’s true. BUT…
Marriage is also a set of vows - a promise to LOVE another human being unconditionally.
It wasn’t a vow to only love your spouse when he is cool, fun and proves that he loves you more.
Here’s the deal…
You are the only ONE who can make YOU happy.
Your marriage and your partner are supposed to challenge you to LOVE HARD...because this is the ONLY way you will truly experience true self love.
So, how do you LOVE HARD?
- Don’t be afraid to love your partner more than they love you.
- Don’t be afraid to give to your partner, even if they don’t give back.
- Be selfless and spoil your partner because it makes you happy, not because you want something in return.
- Let go of judgments and expectations. Love your partner for who they are…faults and all.
“Giving is the highest expression of potency. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power. This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with joy. I experience myself as overflowing, spending, alive, hence as joyous. Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness.” - Erich Fromme, The Act of Loving
Make this one mindset change today: I give love because it fills my soul...NOT...because I want something in return.
The ability to do these things lies deep within you…if you can figure out how to pull it up to the surface and truly LOVE HARD - you will find internal happiness (and your relationships will thrive.)
After all, a solid relationship is built on YOU doing what is in the best interest of you AND your partner.
I CHALLENGE YOU TODAY.
I want you to figure out how you can LOVE HARD today. How you can love your partner more than they love you? How you can give without expecting anything back? How you can find your joy and happiness from within?
Remember: Love is an act - NOT a feeling.
Do this today, tomorrow and for the next month - and let me know how your relationship changes.
P.S. SPOILER ALERT: If you need help finding your own happiness and joy - keep your eyes wide open…because in a couple of days you’ll be receiving an e-mail with a link to a FREE MASTERCLASS on a 6-step blueprint to create your ultimate life!
Four years ago, I was living in a persistent state of unhappiness. My plate was full – too full.
I was working full-time in a high-level position with a 3 hour daily commute, taking classes to complete my master’s degree, and counseling & coaching 15-20 hours per week. Did I mention I had 2 children under 2 at home and a very underappreciated husband? Here's what I did to ditch the overwhelm and live a better life...
So this week, I want to take a trip down memory lane with you. I want to share my 10 most well-received articles from 2016. I hope one of them will give you the strength, courage and hope that you need today to continue in your journey and make 2017 the best year yet! Read more...
So, have you set your New Year resolutions? Are you spinning around excited about all the ideas you have to create your best life ever?
Is your spouse on board with these new goals and aspirations?
As we gear up to reach new goals and aspirations in our lives it is so important to bring our spouses along with us. Better yet – create a goal together.
In this new blog, I’m going to give you 5 questions to help you create a shared meaning and shared goals with your spouse! Read more...
It’s that time of year again, when you start to dream and even plan to make 2017 your best year ever. You have a New Year resolution for self-growth, further your education, lose weight, manage your finances better or improve your relationships. You feel excited, motivated and know that it’s not going to be like last year (or the year before, or the year before) – BUT this year, THIS YEAR you are going to achieve all your New Year goals!
You are going to be part of the 8 percent of American that achieve their New Year goals. It’s going to be different this year, and I’ll tell you why. Read more...
Have you felt stuck, unfulfilled or unhappy in your marriage? Do you feel like you’ve tried everything and it’s just hopeless.
You still love your spouse, you want to stay together for the kids’ sake…but you’re not sure how much longer you can go on in a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs.
You’re not alone. Studies show that most couples struggle in their relationships for 6 years before seeking help.
Wow! 6 years of spinning your wheels, reading self-help books and hoping something will magically change.
In this week's blog, I'm going to break down the 6 Greatest Hurdles to Improving Your Marriage and give you the tools for jumping right over these hurdles!
Ready to become a high-jumper? Read more...
It's tough to be 100 percent authentic around everyONE - everyTIME. However, I want you to consider why you are choosing to not be 100 percent yourself? Read more...
Before I fill you in on the Perfect [FREE] Holiday Gift for your spouse – I want to talk to you about two little things that make a BIG difference in your relationships & life. Read more...
You know you are ready for change and also know you need someone to keep you accountable, help you understand yourself and walk with you through your journey...but should that person be a life coach or a therapist? What's the difference between the two?