Fight Less & Connect More Part III: Top 12 Communication Mistakes That Will Hurt Your Marriage & What To Do Instead

I love the holidays - but I don't like the stress and extra fights that occur around the holidays. I was gently reminded of this when my husband and I had the DREADED annual discussion about who's family will be graced with our presence for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

In the past, this conversation would look like this: 

Me:  So, who's doing Thanksgiving on your side of the family?
My Husband:  Not sure yet.
Me:  Ok, so my parents would like us to come by 3pm
Husband: That should be fine, but why does your mom always have to have dinner so early?  We don't have anytime to see my family.
Me:  Well you don't even know what your family is doing? 
Husband: That doesn't matter, we just won't go to my family's thanksgiving and we won't go to your family's for Christmas. 
Me:  Arghhh....(some choice words)
Husband:  (choice words back)
Me & Husband:  (just ranting at each other, no-one listening, no-one getting their way)
Me:  FINE!  FORGET IT - I NEED SOME AIR, WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS LATER!!  (door slam)

Sound familiar?

Not too productive, huh?  And not a fun way to kick off the holidays!

Fortunately, this year was different....

Although I could feel the hair on the back of my neck start to rise when my husband asked about plans for Thanksgiving -  I was pleasantly surprised when we managed to keep it together.  

We were able to use all of the communication skills we have been practicing for years to finally overcome one of our biggest holiday challenges!  It was actually pretty amazing!!

So, to help you with your holiday discussions I want to share with you my latest blog, published in MindBodyGreen. 

12 Mistakes That Can Destroy Your Relationship - And What To Do Instead

Make sure to avoid these mistakes this holiday season and moving on.

ACTION CREATES CHANGE.  I would love to hear what action you are taking to create change, comment below and I’ll make sure to reply back to personally! Also, please share with one person you think this will help today!

Valerie Kolick, therapist and relationship expert has created this blog to help couples and individuals create happiness and joy in their marriages and lives. If this is your first time here, LEARN MORE here and don’t forget to Download Your FREE Extraordinary Relationship Workbook.

Don't forget to read the FINAL blog of this series Fight Less & Connect More Part IV: The Trick To Feeling Heard & Understood.