The Fear That is Killing Your Relationships

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving (for those in the U.S.) and are easily flowing into this holiday season!

A quick question for you today...

Have you ever felt that you could not be your true self when you are around certain people? 

Maybe you feel like you can speak up when you are at a work meeting.  Or maybe you tend to shy away a little when around a lot of new people.  Maybe you even withhold emotion and love when with your spouse. 

It's tough to be 100 percent authentic around everyONE - everyTIME.  However, I want you to consider why you are choosing to not be 100 percent yourself? 

Is it possible it's related to a FEAR OF REJECTION?  

A fear that the people sitting at your work meeting will think you are not as smart as them.  

A fear that the new (potential friends) will not like you or what you have to say?  

A fear that your husband or wife will not return the same love?

Is it a fear of rejection?  If so, let's switch this mindset...

What is rejection?  NOTHING!

It's nothing. It's a belief, a falsehood, an idea - THAT DOES NOT SERVE YOU.  It holds you back from being the true, genuine, authentic and vulnerable.  It holds you back from creating amazing, deep and personal relationships with yourself, your partner, your children and others around you. 

When you are living in fear of rejection you cannot build and create and keep amazing relationships (not EVEN with yourself).

Do you know that person who seems so confident, the person who people are just drawn to, the person whose love relationships are solid and friendships are gold?  

You want to know their secret?

The may have a slight FEAR of Rejection - but they kick it to the curb each time it rears its head.  They know that rejection is a slight of hand, it's a trick, it's just not real.  They understand that rejection cannot hurt them - so they face it head on.

It's not that they don't have the FEAR - they just learn to jump over it, knock it down, or go around it.  

Today, I just want you to ask yourself if FEAR OF REJECTION is holding you back from being vulnerable and real and amazing today.  Is this FEAR holding you back from creating true love, intimacy and relationships with yourself and with others? 

Think about this today - and watch this video from Brene Brown about vulnerability and it's magic.  

Don't let FEAR hold you back to today.  Jump up and kick that fear in the butt.  Be vulnerable, be raw and be powerful - your passion and your relationships will thank you for it!

Remember, ACTION CREATES CHANGE.  I would love to hear what action you are taking to create change, comment below and I’ll make sure to reply back to personally!

Valerie Kolick, therapist and relationship expert has created this blog to help couples and individuals create happiness and joy in their marriages and lives. If this is your first time here, LEARN MORE here and don’t forget to Download Your FREE Extraordinary Relationship Workbook.