Why Setting Goals WITH Your Partner is Crucial

How many times have you seen, “New Year, New You!” posted across your facebook page, internet screen or flashing across billboards. It’s only January 3rd and I bet you’ve seen this 5 million times.

Why do you have to become a New You every single year? Urghh…the agony of changing every single year.

Honestly, personal growth and contribution are the two needs that you must attain in order to live a fulfilled life. But – that doesn’t mean that you have to change, it just means that you continue to grow, to set goals and to actually stick to those goals.

Without growth – you become stagnant – like you are stuck in your own personal Groundhog Day hell (for those of you who don’t remember or know this movie, it stars Bill Murray as a weatherman, who keeps living the same day over and over and over again).

So, have I talked you into setting and reaching your goals yet? Good. (If you still want some inspiration here, make sure to check out my last blog 3 No-Fail Strategies to Achieve All Your Goals)

Now, I want to talk to you about the importance of creating shared goals for you and your spouse.

How many goals do you and your spouse share? How many goals do you have for your family?

If you have any – are they actually written down and attainable? Are they just kind of in your head.

Did you actually work with your spouse to create the goals – or did you come up with them yourself and told your spouse that’s what your goal is (I'm sure you would never do this, wink, wink).

Creating shared goals and a shared meaning in your marriage can:

  • Keep the passion alive by giving you both something to move towards.
  • Give you perspective when you get lost in the petty or mundane.
  • Bring excitement to your relationship because you come up with new ways and new ideas to build an amazing life together.
  • Remind you of the importance of your family and your marriage so that you can nurture it each day.

So, today – sit down with your spouse and create some shared goals together.

Here’s a couple conversation starters to get your moving in the right direction:

1.      What are your top 3 SHARED core values?

2.      What do you want for yourselves and your family?

3.      What would get you to that goal?

4.      What are you willing to do to attain that goal?

5.      What are you willing to let go of to attain that goal?

Also, I think an amazing place to start is creating a Family Mission Statement together. FranklinCovey has an awesome online Mission Statement Builder you can find here: http://msb.franklincovey.com/

I have no affiliation to FranklinCovey – I just think this tool is awesome!


I would love to hear what your shared goals are for 2017!!  Please click here and let me know what your shared goals are on our facebook page.  



Valerie Kolick, therapist and relationship expert has created this blog to help couples and individuals create happiness and joy in their marriages and lives. If this is your first time here, LEARN MORE here and don’t forget to Download Your FREE Extraordinary Relationship Workbook.