Mindfulness & Mindset In Your Relationship
“If you read with your eyes shut you’re likely to find that the place where you’re going is far, far behind” – Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut.
Right after my daughter was born my husband and I were really struggling in our marriage. Not only were we trying to figure out how to be grown-ups (which is tough on 2 hours of sleep per night), and trying our hardest to do what was best for our little baby girl - we were also dealing with some major challenges in our families. We were constantly arguing and both of us were filled with fear and were so unsure of what we were doing - but we couldn't talk to each other about it. We didn't understand each other's perspectives - and we often put the blame on the other.
I realized quickly that our communication habits were taking a turn for the worse. Instead of judging the situation - I started being more mindful of my own behaviors, thoughts and feelings. I started seeing that I was tearing down the ONE person that I really needed to be my support and my strength.
Once I started recognizing the times I was weakening my husband through blame, criticism, judgment and demands - it was much easier to change my behaviors and then his behaviors also changed - because it's a cycle, and it only takes 1 person to break the cycle.
I let go of what I thought he "should" do, I removed always and never from my vocabulary and I recognized that we were both doing the best we could.
So throughout this course - I want you to stay mindful of yourself and this process.
So what exactly is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is being fully aware in the present moment without judgment. This is important in your relationship because you need to be aware of your emotions, feelings and behaviors and your triggers. Also, practicing to remove judgment of your feelings and thoughts helps to create more positive energy.
Once we become more mindful - we can start changing our mindset to serve us and our relationships...
Our mindset is a collection of all of the thoughts, beliefs and values that we have accumulated and learned since we were born. Our mindset helps us to tell our story, protect us during certain times of our lives, and provides us a backdrop for how we live our life.
However, sometimes our mindset can hold us back from truly manifesting and reaching our desires and goals in life and our relationships.
Individual mindsets can be especially tricky in marriages and relationships because you need to learn how to bring two different ideologies and beliefs together in order to secure your identity as a couple. When you take responsibility for your own mindset and frame it to meet the needs of your spouse and yourself – your marriage will be more successful.
If you are ready to take responsibility for your own mindset, actions and happiness – let’s jump in. Watch the video, then print out the attached mindset worksheet, where I walk you through the 6 steps to identifying your marriage mindsets that are no longer serving you, and how to change your beliefs and actions so you can finally have the marriage and happiness you deserve.
Make sure to do the journal exercise below the video - and if you have any questions pop on over the FB Group.
I also have a challenge for you -are you up?
If you don't already practice mindfulness or meditation every morning - start incorporating it NOW. I have made it super easy for you by providing a 10-minute marriage meditation. You just need to click here, download it on your phone, set your alarm 10-minutes early and put your ear phones in. You can even stay in bed!
Best in Love,
What did you think? I want you to ingrain each of these trainings into your memory - so take out your journal and answer the following four questions.
1. What is something you learned that you didn't know before?
2. What is something you re-learned? (you had known - but it hit you in a different way)
3. What is something that surprised you?
4. What is something you are intrigued by and want to think about it more?